Last week I had a session with a client who struggled with confidence around a particular issue.
There were occasions where people told me ‘You just have to brave it up and do it, push yourself!’. Indeed there were few occasions where this worked, mostly it didn’t. I pushed myself from the cliff in hope I would fly, but I crashed on the rocks instead.
What I have learnt about gaining confidence, is that it’s not as much about making ourselves be someone different, sounding better, dressing differently and puffing up. It’s not about doing, forcing and pushing to make things happen, which is what the left brain always wants us to do.
Why were we gifted with two parts of the brain then? If you’re highly sensitive and empathic, I encourage you to embrace your right brain solutions to building your confidence.
What was useful for me was this more subtle approach inviting me to stop, be and do some inner work. The work was to imagine (we love to imagine, don’t we?!! ) and engage with the senses of my body.
Over the years I’ve learnt that what I needed was to be kind to myself, not to push myself over the cliff. Greater confidence started flowing from treating myself more kindly, as I was learning to love myself, my journey, my fear, embracing everything that is. And finally from the realisation that I am an expression of a larger, Unlimited Force that governs everything in the Universe.
Here are some ideas that helped me and that you also may find useful on your ever evolving path to greater confidence:
1. Become your own best friend. You are not very likely to exude self-confidence if you beat yourself up with your own thoughts and then push yourself. Ask yourself ‘what would my best friend tell me right now?’. Be that best friend! Look after yourself.
2. Remind yourself when you were an absolute star and were damn amazing in a similar situation. What were the factors that contributed to it, what was going on at the time? Can you replicate them now, is there a way you can apply them to the current situation? In what areas of your life are you confident already? Breathe that confidence in and smile.
3. How can you appreciate the situation that is causing you to feel less confident, what are you learning from it? Is it a call for growth? What is the opportunity here? What will happen when you will have overcome your challenge?
4. If you knew that the Universe is supporting you 100%, how would you act, what would you see, think and feel in this situation? We are part of this Life Force that governs the Universe, that is all knowing. It always supports us whether we are aware of it or not. Tap into that awareness and know you are wonderful already.
Love & blessings,